


Five Things - The Daniel Jackson Edition

by sixbeforelunch



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, five things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-21
Updated: 2007-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-07 04:36:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixbeforelunch/pseuds/sixbeforelunch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Assorted five things responses, all Daniel-centric.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Five ways Daniel Jackson didn't die

1\. Daniel didn't die when Carrie Goldstein agreed to go as his date to Homecoming and then wandered off to make out with Jake Lewis. He still thinks death would have been preferable to standing there dateless and conspicuous for three hours because he was too embarrassed to call his foster parents to come pick him up.

2\. Daniel didn't die when his new "friends" convinced him to drink an entire bottle of vodka. One case of alcohol poisoning later, his desire to hang out with the popular kids was well and truly dead.

3\. Daniel didn't die when he went through sarcophagus withdrawal. He just really, really wanted to for a while.

4\. Daniel didn't die when Replicator-Carter stabbed him. There's a part of him that's a little annoyed with Oma for ascending him again, he thinks he's earned his rest by now.

5\. Daniel didn't die with the rest of his team in Ancient Egypt. He'll never completely forgive them for that.


	2. Five ways Daniel improves Atlantis

1\. He translates the section of the database that they've been putting off for months as "relating to non-vital systems". Admittedly, knowing the guidelines of the day-care center doesn't help them much, but finding out about the sauna is pretty sweet.

2\. He brings a king-sized package of M&amp;Ms with him which he trades to Sheppard for a personalized tour of the city. The tour Elizabeth arranged was fine, but it was for the whole team. Sam and McKay kept arguing and he had to keep Vala from stealing things every ten minutes. When he goes with Sheppard, he can take his time. Plus Sheppard knows where all the really cool stuff is.

Sheppard trades the M&amp;Ms to Doctor Green for an old Soap Opera Digest, then turns around and trades the magazine to Captain Reynolds for Sports Illustrated.

Captain Reynolds trades the Soap Opera Digest to Doctor Kim for some silly putty. Reynolds uses the silly putty to make an impression of some interesting ruins on M35-1326 which helps Doctor Hartman create a key to gain access to a hidden chamber. The chamber hints at the presence of a ZPM which has McKay off world for three days.

They never do find the ZPM, but Zelenka is in the middle of an important project and being Rodney-free for three days means he gets it done in record time.

3\. He accidentally spills his water bottle on Captain Gambini's laptop. When Doctor Nguyen stays late in her lab to fix it, she notices the fluctuations in the power being fed to the shield in time to wake McKay before a power surge rips through the shied generator and destroys their best defense.

Gambini doesn't know about the shield. He's just pissed that his hard drive has to be replaced and he's lost all of the episodes of Grey's Anatomy that he had stored.

4\. He stays up late with Ronon, Sheppard, McKay and Sam trading war stories. When the topic turns to torture across the galaxies, McKay makes it half way through a compare and contrast of Goa'uld and Wraith methods before saying that he has better things to do than play "ways I've suffered" and storming off. McKay doesn't mention the conversation again, but Sheppard notices that he complains a lot less about the conditions on their next few missions.

5\. He encourages Doctor Polk to stay with the program. Three months later, Polk walks into the line of fire, takes a Genii bullet for Doctor McKay, and goes home in a box. It's the best thing for Atlantis, but if Polk's parents knew about the conversation, they'd wish Daniel had just kept his big mouth shut.


	3. Five laws Daniel broke

_1\. The speed limit_

He broke a lot of laws the night Cassie called to say that she'd gone to this party and her friends had ditched her and this guy was making her really uncomfortable and she couldn't get in touch with of Jack or Sam or her mom and could Daniel please come get her, like, right now. He blew six red lights and went fifty-two in a thirty-five. Then, when he got there, and found Cassie struggling to get away from a drunk college student...well. It's a good thing Jack plays poker with the local cops, because if it had happened off world, Jack would have just nodded approvingly when he decked the guy, but the civilian authorities call that sort of thing misdemeanor assault.

_2\. The laws of statistical probability_

Beating back the Goa'uld once against overwhelming odds he could deal with. Coming back from the dead once, maybe even twice, he could accept. But after they more or less completely wiped out an enemy that had superior numbers, technology, and fire power...after Daniel survived certain death so much that it became a joke...

Deep down, Daniel is pretty sure they're going to lose this battle with the Ori. You can only play the odds for so long before the odds come back to bite you.

_3\. The law of gravity_

"Carter."

"Sir?"

"Why is Daniel on the ceiling?"

"Localized anti-gravity field."

"...Okay. I'm going to the commissary. Bring you anything?"

"Jello."

"Hey, Sam, think I can drink coffee like this?"

"...Let's find out!"

(The answer was no. The cleaning staff never did figure out how Major Carter got coffee all the way up there.)

_4\. The Law of Ra_

It's called a lot of different things, actually, but Daniel always thinks of it as the Law of Ra. It's the first law of every Goa'uld occupied world and says that anyone denying the divinity of the Goa'uld will be killed. Daniel breaks that law a lot, though not quite as often as Jack and Teal'c.

_5\. Section 72; subsection 5 the Kelownan penal code_

Section 72; subsection 5 of the Kelownan penal code deals with the unauthorized use of weapons on government property. To be fair, Daniel didn't know he was breaking the law when he shot out the observation window, but then he wouldn't have cared anyway.


	4. Five things Daniel misses about having long hair

_1\. Being underestimated_

Not off world. Off world, having the longest hair in the group sometimes marked him as the leader (something he teased Jack about mercilessly the first time it happened). But at the SGC, his long hair made him "the nerdy hippie" to more than a few marines. It was annoying sometimes, but it was all the more sweet when he kicked their butts at basketball.

_2\. Having his hair played with_

Sha're was in awe of his hair. The only thing she found more fascinating was his eyes, but his hair had the added benefit of being soft and fun to play with as well as novel. Usually she would find an excuse to run her fingers through it at least once during the day and sometimes he would lay with his head on her chest while she twirled the strands around her fingers.

After Hathor cut his hair, he left it short, mainly because it was easier to take care of, but he privately decided that when he got Sha're back, he would grow it out again, for her.

Of course, he never got that chance.

_3\. Sam and Teal'c braiding it_

Okay, so that only happened once, but the memory of sitting cross-legged in a tent while Sam and Teal'c sat on either side of him giving him micro-braids never fails to make him smile a little. The memory of Jack's face when he walked in on the scene has made him snicker inappropriately at more than one briefing. Jack pulls the same you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me face with the Tok'ra.

_4\. Conditioner_

There are a limited number of tortures that he would admit to this under (and he's experienced enough of them to know what information he'd give up under the various kinds). But. Sam would lend him her conditioner when he showered on base, because he was always forgetting his own. It smelled like grapefruit and Jack would tease him about smelling like a girl, but he honestly liked it better than the cheap "manly" stuff he had at home.

He doesn't need conditioner for his hair now that it's short, and Sam has since switched brands, but a walk down the shampoo isle at the grocery store sometimes brings back bitter-sweet memories of his first few years at the SGC.

_5\. Hiding_

It was frustrating sometimes when his hair hung down over his eyes, but other times brushing his hair down over his eyes and ducking his head until no one could see his face was the best way to hide an inappropriate smile, or a roll of the eyes.

Daniel can't hide behind his hair anymore, but he doesn't need to. He's gotten much better at bluffing over the years.


	5. Five things Daniel left on Abydos

_1\. Sleep_

The days on Abydos are longer than they are on Earth. With the extra hours, Daniel discovered the curious sensation of being completely rested in the morning. Then he started exploring the pyramid. He didn't get much sleep after that, first because he was too fascinated to stop studying and later because when he went to sleep before he was completely exhausted, he dreamt of Sha're. The dreams were usually sweet, but waking up from them hurt.

_2\. Children_

Daniel was alternatively terrified and thrilled by the idea of children. Sometimes he would lay awake at night, trying to picture what their kids might look like. Other times he would be kept awake by the thought of Sha're dying in childbirth. After Sha're died, not from childbirth, but from a staff blast, Daniel didn't give much thought to having kids. Now that he's in his forties and not planning on settling down any time soon, he's pretty much given up on the idea of ever passing down his genetic material to another generation.

(Hathor doesn't count. Whatever DNA he might have shared with what she spawned, those things were not his children.)

_3\. Family_

In a lot of ways, SG1 is so close they're almost like family, but they aren't family. Not really. Truth is, they don't live in each other's back pockets and at the end of the day, their lives are their own. They keep up a semblance of personal boundaries, at least.

On Abydos, Daniel had a father-in-law that meddled and gave him unwanted advice about his sex life, a brother-in-law that sometimes drank too much, passed out in their tent, and didn't bother to apologize in the morning, and a wife who stole the blankets. Daniel misses family and the complete lack of boundaries that comes with it.

_4\. Respect_

Daniel never got a whole lot of respect in the academic world. It was never something that mattered to him. So it came as something of a surprise to find himself not only respected as the man to defeated Ra, but also, by virtue of his being son-in-law of Kasuf, akin to royalty.

After ten years, Daniel is one of the most respected men on the planet, at least by people in the know. But during those first few years, before civilians became a common sight at the SGC, before SG1 was legendary, when he had to fight to get his opinion heard, he found himself missing the respect he'd never needed before.

_5\. Laughter_

Daniel doesn't laugh much. He never did, really. But, oh, Sha're could make him laugh--a big belly laugh that made his sides ache and left him gasping for breath. He hasn't met a woman since who can do the same thing, but Vala has come close once or twice. He's not sure how he feels about that.


End file.
